The fact that society thinks this is messed up shows how sick we really are

Kick BigCoffee to the curb and start your New Year with a morninghack that will LITERALLY make your bones glow

Drinking saltwater? One thing is for sure: you will feel DIFFERENT

Pesto is power. If you don't understand that then you need my help to fix your brain.

Strive to think intensely negative thoughts about your enemies

I love everybody, except for the evil. However, eating more pesto has been shown (in my personal studies) to combat evil on a cellular level

Oh, drinking saltwater is bad? Nice try, Big Science. But harder bones, denser vibes, and unparalleled horniness are things me and my clients desire tremendously. So we'll keep drinking saltwater, thanks

If you love your body the way I love your body you will treat it to a big bowl of Pesto (God's Medicine)

Anyone who is not me who gives you advice is toxic and malicious. I can prove this with science data

Scientists know that Pesto cures disease. They are keeping this from you because they are afraid of the powerful business ideas it will allow your brain to unlock

I didn't invent the Pesto Diet. (God did) I simply discovered it and used it to cure my personal illnesses (low height, no goatee)

When the body's pesto centers are filled, you are guaranteed to feel different than if they are not

So far science has not found an amount of Pesto that is harmful to the human body, however lack of Pesto can fatally affect vibes

There's a reason I have three times as many business ideas as the average man: I maintain a steady diet of Pesto and Saltwater

If you want amazing sex there is literally no scientific way that consuming more Pesto could hurt

Everybody is asking me to lend my tremendous business ideas to the crypto market. Don't worry friends, Pe$toCoin (a pesto-backed currency) is in development #theeconomy

I am legally obligated to remind everyone here that I can never be sued for anything

It makes me sick to think of how little Pesto the average American consumes

Looking forward to the day when hospitals recommend Pesto as a cure for disease/low amount of business ideas. Until then it is up to me to save everyone's life with my knowledge

We can stay asleep, or we can use magnets to travel the ocean