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my favorite Dave Matthews Band song is “Hook” by Blues Traveler

smokin that cart garfunkel

computer, suck my dick

nothing good ever happens in a Modest Mouse song

2Chainz if he was British: right hand on that steering wheel, left hand on that pussy!

watching Jeopardy and saying “I know” like Dr Steve Brule after every time someone answers a question correctly

gonna start calling having sex “having fuck”

on the phone with the local mexican restaurant kickin my feet and giggling on some “no, you hang up🤭” type shit

slapping my big fat belly in time with the claps on Family Feud

my three sons Huey, Louie, and Dewis

people that buy Stacker energy pills from the gas station love The Black Crowes

hands full at work, trying to ask my coworker that only speaks Spanish to open a door for me, I forgot how to say “abre la puerta” and almost said “Aubrey LaPlaza”

Zaxby’s Zouthern Ztyle Zhrimp

just realized the melody in 50 Ways to Say Goodbye is based on Phantom of the Opera and now I’m pissed off

I feel like Tony Hinchcliffe could probably dial in a decent John Linnell impression

they call em sleep token because I gotta be tokin’ to be able to listen to that damn crap! But instead I’m sleep!

at the Unction. straight up “shooting it”. and by “it”, haha, well. Let’s justr say. My poison

I may not listen to Mannequin Pussy, but I am manic and also a pussy