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“I have pseudo seizures and nobody ever believes me!” - a person who cut the line in the waiting room before throwing themselves on the ground…. to start seizing.

Recently had a patient around my age who hurt his back doing dead lifts. Had to tell them how I gave up ego lifting in my late 20s after I almost threw my back out myself. It’s a humbling experience growing old in the gym.

Whose ever idea it was to put 1200 mg of THC in a single large gummy and sell it at a smoke shop sincerely F U. My patient is here freaking all the way out because they didn’t know not to eat it all at once 🤦🏾‍♂️

When I first became an attending, I used to be super polite with my documentation in the name of professional courtesy. Now, tbh…. idgaf Me: Per consult, “I’m not coming in for that sh*t”. Plan to admit to medicine. 🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️

If you have it in you to say over the phone or (even less likely) to my face, have it in you to say it in court idc. Yes, some counselors are inappropriate/annoying but that’s never an excuse to be an a$$ or try and get out of doing your job.

Them: "Chat GPT will replace your doctor." ChatGPT:

The longer I work in medicine, the more convinced I am that anxiety and depression can be a just response in a deeply unjust world.

Unless absolutely necessary, I would advise against spine surgery. We see many failed backs. There is indeed a role for spine surgery, as I can personally attest to, but be sure to exhaust all non-operative options first. Once a person has surgery, they're never the same!

After much review I have to say the post shift work out is superior to the pre shift work out.

What else can I say. My first year out as an attending has been nothing less than great to me.

Only this is I wish my gradmamas could see it. This for yall...

#JuneTeenth

“ Don’t worry about the home run, get your base hit first, and the home run will come.” Here’s to my home run…