#me #tonight

mission failed.

my bookmarks are being compared to the library of alexandria

i just hit the worlds first sticky keys activation trickshot

holy shit they used bells for bells and steam for steam

first child i see in an aston villa jersey tomorrow im telling their dad they raised a full kit wanker

fuck you aston villa you little chuds

i will be base jumping from old trafford live on periscope in about 30 minutes here

third space is the buzz word of the week

was actually quite a loud transformation

fuck my stupid Polish chud life

in the scientific community we are now referring to this as “the bfdr effect”

i’d pay 100€ for you to never do that again

Off some pills in David Jones looking at gray sweatshirts whilst Im slowly withering in her memory Kinda magical experience for Me tbh i #love my life

i had to take a mental health day when i found out clavicular was frame mogged by an asu frat leader

my cat is blinking at me in morse code

me when i’m woke in february of 1692 in salem massachusetts

god it must feel so good to tweet the dumbest take you could possibly conceive followed by “Hope this helps!”

right now it’s 1:30AM eleven percocets just entered me. fifteen minutes from this second i’ll be crawling on my knees