#DryJanuary sounds so healthy and admirable, but the checkout lady scanning my beer cans has a family to feed.

It will be nice to have a beer with my friends when #DryJanuary is over. When the guys are done with that sober nonsense.

[assembling a new cabinet] Wife: Hey, the baby is chewing on the instructions paper! Me: It's OK, that one is in Bulgarian.

Me: It's cool that First Lady of the United States is from my country. Them: But she's from Slovenia and you're Slovakian, aren't you. Me: Oh now you're an expert.

The server is busy. Please try again later.

I have two problems: The first one is that I need to order a couple of spare parts for a LEGO set in order to replace bricks that got lost over time, you know, for The Ship of Theseus set. And regarding the second problem...

Spýtal som sa teda manželky či má nejaký nápad na program, keď má byť ten hlásený Valentín. Ona na to, že "pizzu a svätý pokoj". . . . . . . . Ja tiež! Ona je naozaj tá pravá.

V Lidli treba zlepšiť zálohomat a výber hudby. Nielenže odmietol prijať prepravku a zasekol sa, ešte do toho zahrali aj tú najdepresívnejšiu pesničku od ABBA: "The winner takes it all The loser's standing small Beside the victory Prosíme obsluhu k fľaškomatu That's her destiny"

Happy day of international women

Na zmene času je fajn že hodinky v aute už idú správne zas.

Nikomu nenapadlo pretočiť hodinky z druhej na tretiu až v pondelok poobede? Tá hodina v noci mi chýba viac.

Scandinavian furniture assembly instructions: pages of clear and simple step-by-step images that even an orangutan can follow. Eastern European/Balkan/Turkish instructions: a sheet with a photocopy of three heavily pixaleted drawings of a guy building the thing, while smoking.

If they had discovered Easter Island on May 4, it would have been called International Firefighters' Day Island.

A deň šróbikov bude kedy??

I can't play pétanque in a minefield. I don't have the balls.

Nemôžem hrať pétanque na mínovom poli. Nemám na to gule.

It's very lucky that the battle in the movie Independence Day takes place exactly on July 4. If the date was April 4, the president would say: "We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our International Day for Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action!"

Leaked pic from filming of the Slovak remake of Back to the Future trilogy in Čierny Balog. "Wait a minute. Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of an old Škoda?" says Maťko Muška to Doktor Hnedko. #bttf #ciernybalog #skoda #railway #horehronie #slovakia

Oh the AC has been on already. Cool.

Me too, application, me too