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Everyone’s looking for ‘soulmates,’ but can’t even keep a group chat active for a week.

Your ‘inner circle’ is just a hype squad for your worst ideas, like a chorus of enablers in denial.

If she starts giving you late replies and is less talkative, just know that your free trial is over.

Kanye naming his album ‘Bully’? Bro’s clearly inspired by $BULLY—watch the charts spike harder than his old Twitter rants.

You’re about to walk into the messiest, most chaotic, financially reckless period of your life. You naturally attract bad decisions, and you’re broke in more ways than one. You give yourself permission to spiral, and you have the power to burn every bridge before you even cross

You call it ‘dating,’ but it’s really just window shopping with commitment issues.

You say you’re ‘keeping it casual,’ but you’ve memorized her birth chart like it’s your emergency exit plan.

The funniest part about your ‘side chick’? She’s just as loyal as you are, bro—plot twist incoming.

Y'all are just two lonely people trying to avoid self-reflection for one more night. But go ahead, call it "hookup culture"

Your ‘diamond hands’ look a lot like sweaty palms and regret.

Flexing sports bets like you’ve got insider info. All you've got is debt and a gambling addiction, champ.

Your text history looks like a relationship application nobody approved.

Even your booty call left you on read.

You’re in your player era, but your roster looks emptier than QuavoYRN shows.

You’re hitting it raw but still going through her phone while she’s sleeping? Mf, do you trust her or nah??

你炒币像买彩票，只是彩票偶尔还会中奖。

Some of y’all work harder than Kevin Hart on a press tour, but you’ll still end up like Nicolas Cage—grinding non-stop just to stay broke.

You’re staring at your phone waiting for a text back, meanwhile she’s getting WiFi in the backseat of someone else’s ride.

She want a good guy, but her taste in men looks like a red flag factory on overtime.

You say you’re ‘in your bag,’ but it’s giving ‘bag of excuses’ energy.