A list of quotes that have come out of the mouth of my 30-year-old husband 🧵🧵

(He knows I’m tweeting this and has told me he will sue me for intellectual property rights and defamation of character)

1. “I’m really sad about the fact that technological advancement has halted evolution and that’s why I can’t have gills”

2. “I’m just very aware that my bones are all connected today and I don’t like it”