Fixed

Going to see little Kobi in the morning , how much I love him is unexplainable xxxx

Sorry to the 15,000 people who had come to oakwell today to see me doing backflips but they had over watered the pitch and the safety officer wouldn’t allow me to do them . Bloody health and safety gone mad

Massive game today at Oakwell honoured to have been asked to do back flips before the kick off . Come on you reds

Not bad but I would have landed a little better

Manager at Morrisons said we don’t mind you doing back flips in the car park but is it necessary to finish off with doing the splits , apparently it’s sent Beryl off the Deli counter into a bit of a tizz

Just out of interest has anyone else won multiple EOTM awards ?

Botanical garden’s Copenhagen thanks for a lovely response to my back flips and Haka it was a pleasure to visit your wonderful city x . The chants of EOTM will stay with me forever .

Just finishing tonight’s agenda for our Dull Men’s Meeting

Elementary Algebra

The Decline in sales of handkerchiefs (satin and cotton )

Red peppers from seed to plate

It’s going to be a full on meeting tonight that’s for sure

She’s as thick as a whale omelette isn’t she ?

Phone you’re mums today if you havnt spoke to them for a while , tell them how much you love them how much you appreciate them and how much your life’s are so much better because of them . And if like me you can’t you will know how much that emptiness will always bring xxxxxx

It’s a little cold for Lycra shorts but I’m braving it

Hugely disappointed to miss out on an invite to Farages 60 th birthday bash it’s years since I have been in a room full of psychopaths.

Kobi says morning everyone x

You pay all the taxes to keep me in a life of luxury in Balmoral and I’ll just charge you £200 to visit it . You really couldn’t make it up 😂

I have been asked by one of the major supermarkets to stop back flipping down the wine and spirits aisle which takes away a little bit of the fun because if it went wrong I’d have loved to have taken out a full section of three barrels Brandy . Health and safety gone mad

People often ask when did I do my first Haka ? . I was 18 and had just had a date cancelled by someone who I had tried to take out for months , did I crumble ? No I went outside and did a fifteen minute Haka , think she will regret it now 😂

Flash back to March 2013 when incredibly I snatched victory out of the jaws of defeat to win EOTM again . Little did I know I would win this 165 consecutive months