WARNING: fedoras do not make you hotter. If you are unsure about your level of hotness, use caution when wearing fedoras.

Buckhead Pizza guy included three sets of plastic ware with my order. It’s just me, though. V rude.

How sad is the life of a Kroger lobster? Bet he’d want to live at SeaWorld and let me take selfies with him. SAD!!!

So I’m watching this Wendy Williams show thing. Is the idea just be mean for an hour? I’m not opposed, just curious.

Harry may be the boy who lived, but he still needs readers even with elite magical talent. Meanwhile, Voldemort lived on the back of dude’s head for a whole year undetected (no readers needed). You tell me who the real 🐐 is.

If chickens were bigger, would they eat us?

I think I’d pay $350ish dollars to watch Gordon Ramsey run a Waffle House kitchen.

What’s more condescending than getting a confirmation email confirming that you just unsubscribed from an email list?

Finally all caught up on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Somehow took longer than Game of Thrones and somehow more controversial.

Remember when a #1 at Chick-fil-A was like $6.50?

Just discovered wool socks. Why are cotton socks?

Book stores smell so damn good.

This Jax is a real piece of work!

I don’t care what happens tomorrow ... shoulda gone Hannah G.

The Red Wedding hurts to watch every time! Bleh ...

Why doesn’t the ice in ice makers stick together?

Is there anything more intimate than trying to insert your credit card while the drive thru lady works, with equal focus and delicacy, to help you insert it?

If Extra Toasty Cheezits are perfectly toasted, why don’t we call the normal ones Under Toasty Cheezits. You tell me what’s fair …