For once I would like my laziness to NOT absolutely ruin my whole life

If you *thought* you didn't understand "TENET", what if you REALLY didn't understand "TENET".

If "The Pitt" isn't a sequel, prequel, spinoff, or direct relation to the inciting incident of the entire Parks & Rec show, I don't want to know a single thing about it

Let's bring the descriptor "high-powered _____" to professions OTHER than being a lawyer. High-powered montessori teacher High-powered watch repair technician High-powered registered nurse High-powered importer/exporter High-powered volunteer foster cat rescuer It's good

Sorry y'all, but pronouncing it "buh-LAY-edge" sounds a fuckton cooler than calling it "BALL-YAH-zgh"

Kind 'em with killness

Nobody is talking about how funny of a word "rotunda" is, and how its actual meaning is nothing like what it sounds like you think it should mean.

DFW weather out there and reporting like the SECOND the air temp is below 32 degs everything is going to freeze. The groundtemp is 45 at the surface right now. 57 degrees at 6" deep. Everything that hits the ground is going to melt for the next 24+ hours until groundtemp drops.

They should have raced Alex Honnold climbing Taipei101 against a normal person, picked off the street, climbing the stairs inside to the top at the same time. #SkyscraperLive

Apparently we need a "Tom Brady breaks into song unexpectedly" counter today.

Also NOT a travel in today's NBA!

What if I just have unipolar disorder?

They had to give TX Czechs their own color & entry on the legend, all because of kolaches, klobasneks, and sausage concentrated in one tiny corner of our state.

If nominative determinism was 100% legit, Alex Honnold's name would actually be Alex Handhold

Cat followed the Google Earth camera everywhere 😂

If I were anywhere at all adjacent to the dancing community, I would 100% put "Bad Bunny SuperBowl Halftime Show: Sugar Cane Bush # 1,097" on my bio + CV. Hell I might do it anyway

I can fix all airlines' overhead bin shortage issue in 1 day. CHECKED BAGS are free. UNDER-SEAT BAGS are free. CARRY-ON OVERHEAD BAGS charged baggage fees. Done. Charge more for what the most convenience is. Charge less for increasing inconvenience. Fucking morons

There's a volcano erupting in the Philippines right now, and of course there's someone streaming 4k video to YouTube. It's also Saturday night and they're broadcasting within earshot of a club. Thunder & ash clouds wafting by, but also UNT-z UNT-z UNT-z youtube.com/watch?v=UDAZWx…

How have the kids today avoided "Parental Advisory" restrictions on music streaming?

BREAKING🚨 To avoid tanking, the NBA is proposing an idea that the team that gets the first overall pick would be forced to hire Nico Harrison as their new GM