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Me: Hi, I need to cancel my services Power Company: Yesserie! Glad to help! Have a nice day. <3 Trash company: Sure can do 💯 💯 💯 Xfinity: I'LL FUCKING BLOW MY BRAINS OUT!! DONT LEAVE ME!! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? ME TO DIE?? *click sound* SAY YES AND ILL DIE RIGHT NOW! DO IT

omg, too many bloons

I've been sending someone hundreds of non-verbal fursuiter videos a day trying to subtly show them how much more fun they can be if they just shut the fuck up.

Things I like: When I cook for my friends and they tell me how amazing it tastes. <3 Things I don't like: When I tried to secretly swap out the human meat with pork, but my friends could tell the difference and now they're all silently glaring at me. </3

Oh, so when you get a cooler for $16 at the flea market, you're being frugal, but when I get a dozen used toothbrushes for $0.85, I'm disgusting???

As a sidenote, I was intending on making a gif of me accidentally dropping a box full of stuff, but why do that when I can authentically drop a box full of stuff all on my own?

It's not every gore artist, but the second I see some furry draw a drop of blood, I brace myself for an opinion about how there's no true consent in hypno art or the problems with puphoods being seen in public.

Anytime someone ends a sentence with "and that's why I choose not to associate myself with the furry fandom" I make a little fist pump and give a little thanks.

Being a furry is greeting your friend's dogs before even considering greeting your friend.

I like it when the paws are extra kicky. I want some beans that're gonna knock my teeth into the back of my throat, you get me?

Despite what all the goon captions say, apparently you can't just "jack off everywhere". So apparently I'm not allowed on the 197A Westbound bus line anymore.

Yeah, I live my life like a furry romance comic. "So, you have sex with hot werewolf men?" No, I have a crippling drug addiction because I accidentally got my girlfriend killed when we were in highschool and the only thing that can save me is sex with hot werewolf men.

join some friends and crack open a drink with my Critter Of The Alley YCH! 🍺✨ docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAI…

My type of smart is so rare, it has yet to have been seen!

To all the crazy as people in the comments freaking the fuck out, all I got to say is BOO MOTHERFUCKER!!!

In order to counter grifters entering our furry community, we will now require people wishing to join the fandom a test before they may enter. We will show you a five minute clip of a moving train and a panel of three judges will gauge your reaction to determine your furriness.

Not to be too political, but at any point of time you stop talking about the Epstein files, start again.