I will never plop myself down to lunch in front of a landmark building. I am in the background hacking away at a grain bowl in no less than 14 people’s photos of the building.

You never see movies with a middle child as the protagonist.

It's cute that people think the Christmas music war is Michael Bublé vs Mariah.

My dog is already not aging and NOW the vet tells me he needs to put on a little weight and my dog is just really rubbing it in.

My new personality is this movie trailer. I cannot wait till the premiere, like wow.

Never forget Lindsay Lohan is in The Holiday.

My family: Climate change isn’t real. My family not even 2 minutes later: Wow, it’s abnormally warm for December.

What a big night for Planet Fitness.

I heard that it snowed. OK.

A car parked outside my window is blasting Jurassic Park and to them I yell THANK YOU.

I've watched too many of those what's real vs. cake videos and now I think everything is cake.

I've started replying "clink" to my English colleagues' "cheers" messages and I realize I am the Amelia Bedelia here.

My friend: I have so much to tell you while you were away! Her as we catch up: I eat kale now!

It took me finding out that there is iced coffee in the kitchen to be excited about the return to office.

My good deed of the day was meeting a colleague named Bruno and not singing the song until he was gone.

Something to keep in mind the next time you visit a zoo: "From November to May, when the New York weather can be cold, the animals are reportedly quartered in separate stalls scarcely twice the length of their bodies." #Blackfish newyorker.com/magazine/2022/…

The fake press release that drove stock up 200% (and a reminder to check your information is from trusted sources): bloomberg.com/news/videos/20…

I spent Easter with my lord and savior Awkwafina in everything she’s made. Happy Easter.

We flew a helicopter above the Miami SeaQuarium to witness their lone orca Lolita’s living conditions, since her pool is completely cut off to the public. WOW. Her suffering is immeasurable. She’s just wasting away in the blistering sun. We gotta get her out of there! #FreeLolita

Tokitae, AKA Lolita, is the world's loneliest orca and it's time for change on her sad existence. They're finally getting closer to activating on her next chapter. #Blackfish theguardian.com/environment/20…