This is *raw* #TOTP

Luckily we find ourselves in the presence of Belgian royalty with ‘Digital’ and their ruined Orgasm (a.k.a. Lords of Acid) gracing the studio to provide us with some post-New Beat frenzy #TOTP

Kim Syms on hand to instantly dispel the post-Cliff desolation. “No man in the world…” what, Kym? (“Can let go of this Aquarian”, don’t you know) youtube.com/watch?v=tfHjoq…

The stage is stripped for Salt-N-Pepa to test the elasticity of PVC to its snapping point (excuse me, my monocle just popped) #TOTP

I reckon there were some heated arguments each night between the guys over who ended up wearing the silver dungarees. How fantastic is it that they stage a stand-up argument between one of them and Spinderella? It’s all totally brilliant. #TOTP

Ha! A veritable stampede behind Tony as the crowd practically trample each other underfoot to get over to Right Said Fred. Steady, kids, someone’ll get hurt! #TOTP

Nice that the caption credits Jocelyn Brown on vocals, which is more than the band did. I was going to say ‘backing vocals’ but to be honest, her contribution blows Fairbrass’s hopeless honk out the water. #TOTP

I can’t imagine the PVC marketing board were quite as delighted to see Richard’s saggy kecks as they were Salt-N-Pepa’s tautly-clad derrières. #TOTP

I wonder if Claudia was moved up to the gantry to avoid the twat mugging away behind her in her last link? #TOTP

Shame that that U2’s rather brilliant Mysterious Ways, which beats the efforts of several Northern indie bands to win the accolade ‘best baggy single ever’, is relegated to the breakers, never to be played in full. #TOTP

Last up it’s Martika who brings not just the sound but the spirit of Prince into her act. He clearly didn’t want anything to go out under his name if it wasn’t 100% on-brand and accordingly this is like a little bit of Paisley Park come to Elstree studios. #TOTP

The extended version features a rap – I can’t find a transcript online so have a listen if you feel you need further clarification of the euphemistic term ‘Martika’s kitchen’. #TOTP youtube.com/watch?v=6I_oAb…

Even worse than Mysterious Ways only making it into the Breakers, Prince’s very own excursion into the charts with the title track from ‘Diamonds and Pearls’ doesn’t make it onto the programme at all, having debuted at 25 and dropped to 26 the week after. Travesty. #TOTP

They really should have kept Claudia. #TOTP

So that's that. If like me you think Year Zero was the best thing since Richard Skinner, you can read me rambling on about it until your eyes bleed at topofthepopsyearzero.wordpress.com #TOTP #TOTPYearZero

#TOTP #TOTPFacts Ironic this show should feature someone murdering Prince