This is my body. I am a size 8. I am appalled that a size 8 body is enough to distract all of you from the fact that she's not wearing a fucking mask

I need to get a pair of slippers only because I need something lightweight to throw at the tv when I watch the news

I need a trauma informed boyfriend

Anchorwoman responding to weatherman: loving that weekend forecast! My dad: why do you care about the forecast? Every weekend is the same. It doesn’t matter its just more days! #mydadisturningintoanihilist

I suggested we put up candy cane decorations along our walkway and my mom gasps and says “NO! JonBenet Ramsey’s house had candy canes!”

When I recommend stuff, I usually highlight stories written by ⁦Omaha World-Herald⁩ reporters. But this obituary deserves a read. Godspeed, Eric

Do kids actually want to go back to school or is the news manufacturing consent??? Because when I was a kid, we all hated being at school

which chipmunk would do the most damage in bed

So March we meet again you raggedy bitch.

I think what I love most about UTIs is racing to the bathroom emergency-style to produce one single drop of just the spiciest pee

Sarah Silverman I don't give a fuck how awkward it is. I don't care how many stares I get running across the Wal-Mart. I don't care if the Starbucks makes me order a latte. I don't care if I have to squat by the side of the road. I will always, for this reason, use the bathroom after sex.

Was on the verge of falling asleep then remembered the time Blake Lively drew on Louboutins then tagged them. I have witnessed so much during my short little life……

Wait…. Did Lady Gaga tweet me a decade ago and I missed it?

Watching #BadVegan and other docs about white people being conned and managing to come up with huge amounts of money for no reason is pretty damn sad… like imagine what they COULD do FOR GOOD with that money and the ability to access funds like that?

The post breakup gyno appointment is truly a life RESET

I joined Bumble BFF to see if I could find some friends and I legit have swiped no on everyone because they all seem too cool for me