Ladies & gentlemen, I give you… Jon Stewart

☠️

The amount of space pedestrians get:

Just witnessed someone speed up and intention strike a woman while crossing Broadway and Winona. Called police and EMS but I think this woman is dead.

New data just in. We are clearly in a new surge of COVID-19. The US is up 97 percent (!) over the past 5 weeks, based on the amount of SARS-CoV-2 virus in sewage water. The public is being told nothing by a government and media intent on covering up this ongoing disaster.

lean into it you ancient man lean into the branding

“Welcome to the first day of school everyone. Let’s do introductions.” My name is Dan “Ooh it says here ‘Daniel’” I go by Dan “OK I’ll have to call your parents and let them know”

getting ready to say “no, i don’t go to uva, haha” a lot more in a month or two

For context, I got my hunter’s safety license when I was in 2nd grade. She’s probably too young for handguns, dual wielding is try-hard suburban bullshit, and if I tossed one like that, my dad would have fucked me up. Stupid punisher truck decal weekend jackoff dad behavior

Local news station deserves a medal for the script on this segment

To reduce the spread of #COVID19 in schools, ensure good ventilation by opening windows and doors when possible and safe, or providing adequate mechanical ventilation. Wear masks if unsure about ventilation, and encourage outdoor activities when feasible. bit.ly/3sJmisd

Zachary Shrewsbury, currently the only candidate in West Virginia's Democratic Senate primary after Manchin declined to run, is a US marine veteran and avowed working class progressive who frequently quotes the abolitionist John Brown in his speeches