Girls love it when guys are back with another one of those block rockin’ beats

ChatGPT was able to give me an argument that Wicked Game is about the Fosbury flop, that hello by Adele is about tracheotomies, but it balked at providing an argument that boot scootin boogie is about renewing your library card

Guy at slow pitch wearing compression sleeves and eye black and batting gloves but also smugly tells me that you need to catch the ball on the infield fly rule for it to count. Like bro

Not trying to hate on the social media person, but not a single tweet from the start of the first game in team history until the following morning? What kind of weak shit is that?

When your friend group has two guys named Bruno and you need to tell them apart

A woman stopped me on the street earlier to excitedly ask me how tall I was. Sorry but I’m barely 6’2 that is not worthy of such a reaction

How do you sell half a jersey

RIP Rick Froberg. Hot Snakes has one of the best short run discographies of their generation. What a songwriter.

New saying idea: “looky looky oatmeal cookie” (when you see something cool)

Reminding my gf not to yell about her spank bank while sitting next to a family of five at the Pearson airport Fionn mccools

Gf saw the Barbie movie last night and today has tried to follow me into the men’s room twice. Could these phenomena be connected?

Gf: “I keep getting sauces on myself”

I met Matt pike outside a high on fire show as he was just leaving a convenience store with munchies. I went to shake his hand but he was holding change so he awkwardly shook my hand with two fingers and was very friendly

It was never going to be Toronto you bozos

Two men clearly entering a make or break 2024 Ronnie’s Jumbo enjoyer masked individual

Love seeing this ad four times in the space of twenty tweets, Twitter is stronger than ever

Bro what the fuck

Teaching grade 3 is cool because all the girls wear shirts that say stuff like “kindness is cool” and “free to be me” and the boys wear shirts that say “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning FORTNITE”

My most deeply held principle is that if your name starts with k I will call you special k and if your name starts with j I will call you dr. J

Metal archives “members” tab be like: Bestial Desecrator of Sadistic Perversions - Drums (2019-present) Unholy Lycanthrope of Stygian Demagoguery - Guitars (2020-present) Kevin Blake - Bass (2023-present)