Squids that neighbor that doesn’t mow or snow plow even an inch past the property line

Why do people chop stuff up so much before putting it into a literal blender. You can throw it all in there it will get blended I promise

Maybe your baby is crying bc it wants to play OSRS

Believe me, your fairytail prince charming is a nerd who plays survival games

Welp my dog is cuddling and laying on me so I can’t get up or do anything

I dare you to eat 3 lbs of bbq and drink a 32oz beer

My eyes are doing that unfocus thing and its not even noon

If your bf doesn’t take you on Costco dates and gets you a delicious pizza, dump him

Me two least favorite things about summer: wasps and foggy glasses

Ummm this is my emotional support 2lb bag of gummy bears

I love listening to vinyl bc you can hear the cymbals even with the volume off. It’s scientific brilliancy

Oh you love me? Buy me the ISS Lego then

Dude why are transformers so badass I mean just look at this guy

Maybe your baby is crying bc it wants crawfish étouffée with fried catfish on top

Chalupa combo from Taco Bell used to be $6 now each chalupa is $6. I can’t live like this anymore

Packing to move and wishing magic was real

After hundreds of applications and 10 months of searching, someone reached out to ME and I finally got a job in my field!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My new upstairs neighbor sounds like he’s moving his furniture around all day every day…. I hope it’s because he’s fucking moving