Some of you like the Darius Rucker version of Wagon Wheel more and it shows

Just waiting on @martmrooe to get me a training regimen

Asking for a friend to the lawyers out there: Can you just not have someone do their job? Like you pay them their current salary, but you don’t have them do a job. As an EXAMPLE, you have a coach that you don’t want to pay 20m, so you just have someone coach. Just an example.

To all the men that stand next to me at the urinals in the future - Yes I’m tall - No I didn’t play basketball in college Stop asking

Back eating alone 🤩

Imagine being born 10/20

Sometimes I get crazy emotional during the national anthem

Tom Holland’s rendition of Umbrella might be the best piece of cinema in the 21st century

In that awkward stage of my workout journey where I REALLY don’t wanna fucking workout, but also I kinda like the feeling of being in Zone 2??

I keep a book of all of @martmrooe’s bad takes to bring up years later

Imagine listening to a @martmrooe Jam

After talking to my consultant Trent McGee I am rebranding my Twitter

Why did nobody tell me Upland wheat is gas?

Current mental state: Watching the Wicked Tiny Desk on repeat