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I wonder if it's too early to ask if my face can be on money. It would be the best money. WIN!

People are still complaining about my tax returns? Losers. I'd never waste my time demanding to see documents of an elected official

Catch up on schoolhouse rock videos. #TheFirst100DaysToDoList

Perhaps President Donald J. Trump Donald J. Trump & the GOP didn’t get the message Saturday: We’re not taking women’s rights back – not now, & not ever.

Excited for lunch and my first White House taco bowl. I love all the people. #TacoTuesday

Found the gold curtains for the Oval Office. Whoever picked those out before had amazing taste, a real winner.

I'm getting pretty good at signing all this stuff. Quick, someone find me a gold sharpie. It will look more official.

You can't break up with me because I'm the one breaking up with YOU

Still can't believe the millions of Americans who showed up on Inauguration Day. Seriously, I cannot believe it.

Refugees going to Canada? That's ok. We can build a wall there too! Walls fix everything.

I'm not scared of stairs. I held her hand so she could see how huge my hands are

Of course I'm good at firing people. All the millions and millions of fans who watched my show know that. #yourefired

So many people being recognized by more and more people. That should cover it all, right?

What's important to Americans today? Ah yes, my views on Arnold and reminding them how much better I am.

Tom Brady is so dreamy

Only people who think SNL is funny? Everyone who voted illegally. Terrible!

I wonder if my Rosetta Stone to learn Russian has arrived yet

Mic drop #BOOM

I have blue ties too. Stripes. The best stripes.

Hawaii is an awful state anyway. No one should want to waste their time there. Terrible! #boycotthawaii