Praise to the little baby Jebus for giving us summer evenings, motorcycles, and the explosive juices of dead dinosaurs with which to propel them.

Holiday cannot come soon enough

Might have gone a bit OTT with the roofbox

“Illegal migrant invasion spotted at Alton Towers” fumes Rupert Lowe.

Imagine having voted for this cretin and being satisfied with your choice 🤣🤣

Hate getting a complaint for a “missed delivery” when I know for a fact it was 100% delivered at 5:14am - I even specifically took care to avoid the wobbly noisy paving slabs. I don’t make mistakes but I will be making as much noise as possible next time I’m doing that door.

Always funny when a driver says he’s getting his solicitor involved in work stuff. Doubt the same guy who gets him bail is going to recommend going to tribunal for being a fuckwit

I wish I lived in a warm country

The tumble dryer trying to set itself on fire wasn’t what I had planned for this morning 🫠

Why’d you discontinue all your pouches of drinking chocolate Hotel Chocolat? More profitable to sell single serve boxes? At least bring back the Sierra Nevada 75% to mitigate this.

A driver has commented in the depot group chat about GPS routing issues attempting to get to a property via another road called Trojan Court and that he can’t get through. My comment “you probably need a horse” has fallen on deaf ears. A wasted talent if I may say so myself.

Turning on out-of-office replies for the rest of the week at 1pm on a Monday is even more satisfying when you know how much of a clusterfuck the rest of the week is going to be

That moment you’re on the phone to HR boss-lady about various issues in your region and then realise the reason she’s been so vague about a grievance case is because it’s against you 🤣🤣

Nearly 2026 and voice notes on WhatsApp are still a thing 😢

Thank goodness, have been wondering where to keep my £5m of savings

So tired of working with lazy, selfish morons

There is something weirdly satisfying about the chalky patina of a winter road trip - ghostly contour lines like the frozen signatures of turbulence. 700+ miles written in salt and speed.

Wonder how the driver who finished an hour and a half early this morning got on with emailing HR about how unfair it is