98.9% of men are monsters and you can’t convince me otherwise

commenting "babe??? WTF" on every couples post i see on valentine's day

The midwestern urge to say “can’t park there bud” to anyone in the ditch

Now that Valentine’s day is over let’s focus on a more important holiday that’s coming up, my birthday.

I am surrounded by mostly men in my career and there is nothing I love more than putting the arrogant ones in their place ☺️

#NewProfilePic

Her and Casamigos put together = bad news

I turned 30 today. If you're still in your 20s, read this:

Twitter: lmfaooooooo stupid fuck Work emails: Haha! No worries, let’s try to pay a little more attention the next go around!

If you can’t go from lil Wayne to turnpike I don’t want it

"I hate when people confuse education with intelligence, you can have a bachelor's degree and still be an idiot". -Elon Musk

#NewProfilePic

Tomorrow will be the first sunrise of the rest of ur life – make it what u want

Favorite this tweet if, you too, have never seen a baby wasp

I wanna hear “We’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way” from every vehicle I pass today. Rip a legend

In 1981, Marianne Bachmeier shot the murderer of her 7-year-old daughter. Klaus Grabowski, a 35-year-old butcher who had already sexually assaulted 2 girls previously. Bachmeier pulled out a Beretta during his trial and emptied 7 bullets into Grabowski's body, killing him

The 2 most iconic images of 2024