Since conservatives are by definition in favor of conservation principles, I propose that under the Conservation of Racism principle we take all the extra confederate statues, melt 'em down, and build the border wall out of that.

Funny how people use cold weather to deny global warming, then get into their RVs where the refrigerator uses a flame to cool itself just the same way...

The popular approach

The last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series, Real Estate developer Donald Trump was running for President of the USA.

"Aides Convicted in Bridgegate Scandal" — but the -gate suffix already means "scandal". So it's like Snohomish River, or Durwent Water.

I can't see how Trump will make America great again, so obviously in that story I would never have seen the emperor's new clothes either...

Thanks for asking the perfect questions! x.com/charlottejee/s…

We have the circuses, now where's the bread?

I predict virtual reality will be really popular this year, given how actual reality is shaping up.

First we postulate, without loss of generality, a spherical bunny... x.com/MagicRealismBo…

Hmm, I wonder how many more years till sea-level rise does a Sandy on the Whitehouse...

Yeah, shame on all those women and slaves! x.com/realDonaldTrum…

Bad Dataviz: This map of every pub in the UK is super helpful. via /r/dataisugly ift.tt/2gEZghD

Exactly this. We need to channel Molly Ivins now.

"Making America Great Again" apparently means going back to A: the 1950s. B: the 1850s. C: the 1750s. D: the 550s.

My ID bracelet for the NICU describes our son as a "0 day" This is not how I expected to get pwned. But it probably should've been.

Alas, you aren't a true functional programmer after you start thinking that way either, since users aren't idempotent. x.com/quietfanatic/s…

say "The new Environmental Pro{$_}tion Agency" for <tec mo duc voca stra crastina stitu>.pick(3)

So we skip the daily security briefings because they're "boring", but somehow we know enough about Russia to assert a universal negative…