Dandelions have launched a full-scale takeover of everywhere this year. Like.. way worse than normal, right? 🚫🌼

Proud to only know 1/10 of the celebrity #Knicks fans shown during the first two games.

Time zones are so wild. I’m finishing dinner and it’s late afternoon for my MT and PDT coworkers. And if I start messaging them at 7 when I log on, it’s obscenely “middle of the night” for them.

Going to use this in my ads when I start a power washing company.

This seems almost like intentional sabotage. No one wants a minimalist Cracker Barrel. We want Hoarders: Southern Grandma Edition. If it don’t look like Meemaw and Peepaw’s, with the only concession to modernity is removing ashtrays, I’m out.

The morning you’re hosting a webinar is not the morning to experiment with new eyebrow makeup.

For most of my adolescent and adult life, I've had an orbit of 5–10 friends, coworkers, and family members that would tap me to proofread work emails, resumes, even Christmas cards. Grammar and sentence structure have always been my thing (even if my tweets don’t show it). Not

Reds win and clinch the Wild Card. Fever win and force a Game 5. Purdue didn’t lose (because they didn’t play.) Nice little sports weekend. Honorable mention to the local NFL team.

The excitement and nervousness about the season is setting in! 🖤💛

Mel Robbins is a gem of a human. Goodness.

There’s not nearly enough talk about how lovely the new Amazon font is.

It’s the cilantro. 🤢

Warren Buffett drops some wisdom in his farewell letter to shareholders.

As my kids get older, the kid stars in classics seem younger/smaller each year (ie, Kevin in Home Alone).

Don’t forget to say “rabbit, rabbit, white rabbit” when you wake up tomorrow. 🐇

My 85-year-old neighbor is bucking the meteorologist consensus. While they're calling for a mild winter, he's insisting central Indiana will see a blizzard on or around January 13th. Time will tell if his old bones know something the forecasters don't!

Am I… experiencing happiness for IU? If so, I’ve really matured in this 39th year of life.

Sorry to my extended family that the kids won’t be dressed up at our Christmas Eve gathering tonight. They got Braden Smith jerseys from us earlier today and refuse to wear anything else. I don’t hate it. #boilermakers

Wondering how to keep Christmas once the house gets quiet tonight? Henry Van Dyke wrote it better than anyone: “Keeping Christmas.”

I just needed to call a plumber in CT. He was here about half an hour. No parts were involved, just labor to unclog a pipe. The bill was $388. I don’t recall the last time I used a plumber, but it seems like the cost has gone way up. We need more plumbers and fewer college grads.