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No, no, give the lad chance to explain...

The Duke of Wellington's sex arse? That would be the scoop of the century, no? dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1…

Will you do balding gents in their fifties next? Asking for a friend.

You OK, hun?

A duck eating a dog turd on Blackpool prom

Always lovely when the boffins 'discover' something that humans have known for many thousands of years bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

I voted for the SNP in 1997 because Runrig were superb at the Edinburgh Hogmanay party a few months previously. (And I was very, very drunk)

Yes, Detectorists is as good as everyone has been telling me for the last 10 years.

I think I'd like to see this

America please, never change...

Sometimes it takes someone from the outside to remind us of all that is wonderful and lovely about England.

Britain: where the Prime Minister tells you what you're allowed to be angry about

But having 'Dogs Playing Pool' on the wall makes me an idiot?

The more I hear about these lads, the less I like them

'Modernisation' often seems to means 'making everything shitter'. See: every town centre in England instituteforgovernment.org.uk/explainer/mode…

The Chancellor can't say how she worked out there's a £22bn black hole, the energy secretary's lost Scotland's only petrol refinery and the policing minister's had her purse stolen at a cops' conference.

'The NHS has gone to live on a farm...' news.sky.com/story/nhs-must…

Not sure the laws of physics can support so much c**tery in one place. dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1…

You know what really worries me..? Pre-watershed burger ads. Worry me sick, they do.