Ok it's reeeeaaaally starting to feel like we're in a final destination movie #Bye2020

Well, that escalated in an obvious and totally avoidable way for four years

It's official, the Whitehouse has hired a 7-year old boy exclusively for the naming of very serious government programs

*watching literally any movie with your wife* Wife: "OMG that ______ is from Lizzy McGuire!!"

I feel a theme coming on: come up with a half-baked storyline and sprinkle a few celebrities on top #plannerbowl #plannerbowl2021

#plannerbowl I've been waiting a YEAR for a decent state farm ad using this set up and I finally have it. Good job 🙌

#Plannerbowl I feel like indeed makes one of these ads every year and this year the planets have finally aligned lol

Eek Winfield...not a good look

You don't need to become an investor, you were born one...as long as you do what we tell you to – robinhood #plannerbowl

"I gotta start by saluting all of the healthcare workers here" is the funniest thing you could possibly say at the end of a super-spreader event

Patrick Mahomes trying to complete a pass in the second half

*Tom Brady driving home* "Hey Alexa, play seven rings"

Trying to figure out your taxes as a freelancer

Come on guys, just read through it before you hit send

Left: me deciding I should get some nike dunks Right: *3am* in the middle of trying to buy some nike dunks

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/CLs8QhThxX8/…

A 12-year-old at our complex's pool asked me if I was an Olympic swimmer today so you could say things are going pretty well for me

Utah: *prays for water* God: lol, bet