I live for the applause-plause (I got the clap)

a sexual health clinic called STDeez Nuts

I got wine drunk in the Sears Tower and all I have to show for it is a series of bathroom mirror selfies

an artist drag king named Norman Cockwell

I can’t

i will continue to provide funding for the annihilation of these people but i just wanna let you guys know that i see them and they are valid

the specific type of heart attack you get from almost sending a dick pic to the group chat instead of a meme about late stage capitalism 😮‍💨

not the pharmacy playing Troye Sivan

enough.

Mike Johnson closed DS Tequila

I’m at the “should I just make an espresso martini?” point of procrastination

hot people are a guest in the arts I don’t make the rules

where do beautiful people get the money to travél

Reflecting on my profound love of sourdough toast today. 10/10 bread. I would eat piss like soup if I had a little crunchy triangle to dip in it.

my dumb gay ass saw “goodcock”

people ask me what my dream job is and I say “famous”

my favorite thing about dish towels is how they do not absorb a single drop of water

girl dinner?

“DJ, hit the track!” An anvil clinks. It’s Holst’s Second Suite in F Major.

Happy Thanksgiving I lost my weed pen in my mother’s recliner