*insert generic long winded tweet about events of the previous 12 months followed by unachievable ambitions for the new year*

Timeless tweet.

I forgot how delicious Snickers are, but when did they become so tiny?

How do all these people on Instagram only know people with 6 packs?!

Watch out Dusty Pee, I've just published my first book. Sure to be a best seller.

Finn update

One day I'll go through all the recipes in my 40+ chrome windows on my phone and actually cook some of them

Barely staying alive

Had a heap of eggs that needed to be used, plus fresh zucchini from the garden = roast vegetable frittata 🤤

If only Dusty Pee wasn't spending so much at the hairdresser, the rest of us might be able to afford our groceries.

Imagine walking into a bathroom and seeing this 😳

Didn't mean to post on this account 😅

Is Twitter down?

Cloudy with a chance of abortion

Keep tongue punching his dirty orange fartbox, you brain dead moll.