PSA: i will not kiss your ring

nothing tastes as good as not getting out of bed to feed myself feels

where’s the award for most angry and defeated?

guess we know who's covering Norma on Tuesdays #BYOturban

earthquake? sorry, my tectonic plate is already full

were you eclipse? or were you eclipsED?

🎶 life is an open mic, old chums only an open miiiiic… 🎵

🎶 you gonna lo0O0ove meeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaa!!! 🎵

it’s called INSTA-bility cuz i am unable RIGHT NOW

computers sure love hyphens!

happy am i sick? no it’s allergies day to all that celebrate!

any doctors out there willing to write my roommate a prescription for Leave The Fucking House Once in a While?

Tomorrow!!!!

if you aren't spiraling is it even monday?

giving up def has its appeal

Happy The IRS is Keeping My Refund for Debts I Didn't Know I Had Day to all that celebrate!

wedgie season

so dumb that we have to go to work even though nothing matters and we’re all gonna die someday

stephen schwartz wrote the first draft of Popular in blood

i can still see your likes 👀