Tank, but with his left hand, instead.

The Russians: *Demand apology from Ireland to cover costs and damages.* The Irish: *Place a photo of Putin by the urinals in a pub.* Seems to me like they think ol’ Puty-Poo’s just piss in the wind.

It’s about time!

Tonight was a Blood Moon! Fucking incredible! For anyone who didn’t have fucking overcast clouds fucking ruining it and negating the point of you staying up all fucking night for nothing! This is all I have: A faint tint of red that might as well be sunrise hidden behind clouds.

Who brought balloons into proximity of my Twitter profile!?!

In fairness, there’s some good points here on why it’s getting out of hand.

I’m a fucking prophet, mate!

We lost our monarch!?!

The previous shortest was Sir Alec Douglas-Home apparently, with 366 days. When you're setting records you usually want to go for the most impressive record, not the least.

I thought we were done with separating people based on class.

Twitter moment.

So when my Twitter was down, it was for a good reason. #TwitterDown x.com/Dustinkcouch/s…