I can't wait for lip to hit puberty and shed his skin

Guys, let's go to THE Cafe. #pennstate

I got my tea at THE cafe.

I'll eat it because I can't smell it in my mouth Cory Meyer

I know the Eagles are in the playoffs and all, but can we please put on the Flyers game??

So what's happening in the Yunk tonight? #HMU

The cup's round so why do they call it Ovaltine? #classic

Go home Pierre, Crosby's not here!

I wear Ricky & Morty shirts because I think it will get me laid

I only drink liquor. Not because I'm a badass, beer's just not for me #vodkasodablackout

Follow up on that last tweet. I only drink diet soda #caleriecounting

When I go to bars I pick up girls for my friends...not because I'm a good guy, I'm just playing the long game

Egg whites, low fat cheese and fresh vine tomatoes. Don't fuck with me on my breakfast game

Don't forget the seven grain toast. Ladies, #HMU

Watching 2 guys and 1 girl is my kind of night

The jerk store called. They're running out of you! #boom

Fine guys, I’ll come to the city to watch march madness but I’m not drinking beer and they better have the flyers on...with volume!!!

If URI doesn’t come back in this game I’m gonna need so many jack and cokes 🤦🏻‍♂️ #marcHmadnes

No even editing the spelling on that last tweet because I’m a badass