🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

You can tell me. We’re married. You once drove me to the hospital when you were giving birth. So... what the fuck happened to Emily? x.com/blakelively/st…

Do you ever wonder if your dog gets jealous if they see how other dogs lived? Like how we get jealous when we see how other humans live?

What do dogs even talk about when they catch up at the dog park?

I recorded a podcast with my co-host in-person for the first time. During filming: One kid walked down the stairs in her underwear. One kid pooped on my bed. One kid walked up behind the camera & laughed like a crazy person. One kid was nowhere to be seen She's my favorite.

4-year-old: *wakes me up standing six inches from my face* Is it time to get up yet? Me: No. 4: I'll stand here till it is.

[packing for a family road trip] Me: Are you ready? 6-year-old: Yeah. Me: Your bag is empty. 6: I'm staying home.

My 94-year-old grandma: Never marry your best friend. Me: Why? Grandma: You can't fight them. They know all your weaknesses.

8-year-old: When does school start? Me: In about a month. 8: *slides me a cookie* Now when?

6-year-old: Why don't girls grow beards? Me: They can't. 6: We can do anything we want.

[walking to the car] 4-year-old: *stops to fix her shoe* Wait for me. 2-year-old: We can leave her.

6-year-old: I'm my own best friend. Me: I don't think that counts. 6: It does. I gave myself a friendship bracelet.

2-year-old: *rubs my face* Me: Where have your hands been? 2: Petting goats.

Leah Lewis Alice Wu 伍思薇 YES YES YES YES PLS! i’ve never been more excited to read in my life

#juniordoctor #nhs #MemeReg #medicalmemes #medtwitter #ShoutyShouty #GoBackToAmericaYouWeirdo

Change the culture

[lightning strike super close to our house] 5-year-old: Missed me.

7-year-old: *puts a lightsaber, a princess crown, and goldfish crackers in a duffel bag* Me: Where are you going? 7: To war.

Me: How was school? 5-year-old: I didn't get bit by a shark. Me: Do you usually get bit by a shark? 5: No. I'm careful.

Me: What are you doing? 5-year-old: What's it look like we're doing? Me: Nothing. 5: Yeah. Don't interrupt.