auditioning for a woody allen project is red flag number 1 on a very long list of red flags that i can see here

if you’re putting your feet up on train seats you’re a scruff pass it on

neighbour got her kids one of those FUCKING karaoke microphones and has shut them outside with it and i hate her

grown man on the train on his way to see an american football game of sorts turning his cap backwards and clapping his hands when his mate pulls out a bag of fruitella. proceeds to make a little goblet out of the fruitella wrapper. this is what living is all about.

he said “here are some follow up actions so we’re all on the same page”

he was NOT going back to that bakery

love spaghetti

my next door neighbour lives alone and she has been SCREAMING swearing all day. we just had a beautiful rendition of “bastard bastard bastard” with a round of “oh fuck off”. hoping she plays her smash hit of glass bottles falling over followed by “fuck you”

willem dafoe is not steve buscemi and steve buscemi is not willem dafoe but christopher walken is somehow both of them

Grannies really got it right with tea and soup and knitting and doing puzzles and sitting outside listening to the birds and having a sweet treat and going to bed at 8pm

requested rock dj in the club too many times the dj got angry with us :(

had a dream last night that they put me in with the olympic swimmers and i was faster than all of them with a new kind of vertical dolphin technique and didn’t realise it was a dream until earlier when i was thinking “i could go swimming later since i’m good at that now”

heart goes out to the girlies doing the long distance boyfriend commute across london today

put on calming classical music for my cat who’s asleep where i’m working today and god the productivity level i have reached. i’m no better than a domesticated animal

The Academy fears what Robbie Williams could do on that stage

Insane edit on my fyp