I worked out the Santa and tooth-fairy thing. Need some help with reality- ie truth & lies: Wind-up or banter or am I just a Corey or naive

@minimontna never said there wasn’t a Santa. He still comes to my house. Just saying i’ve worked out how him & the tooth fairy do it. Magic!

Q. What’s worse than being next to a man with BO? A. A woman. Check diary for the last bathnight before you dance next to me, #shittywafter!

Myself and Steve S just set off the backstage fire alarm at tonight's gig by accident! And 2000 people have just had to be evacuated!!#doh

Why, with ability to get high quality pics on todays devices do you apply filters to make them look like a shitty old 60s camera image?

Twitter is another way of mumbling to yourself so that everyone else can hear.

Strange beast spotted roaming the streets. What is it? BadlyGroomedMutt? (another good name for a… instagram.com/p/tqSYRAPTD6/

Nice little chewy treat. Sow what? Pigs audio device. instagram.com/p/uDlRgxPTDm/

There is a relationship between how noisy a food packet is and it’s health value. eg: crisp & biscuit packets vs bread & fruit bags. Agree?

Live at Wicksteed Park tonight!! WB x

Know where youre going. Or else you’ll go nowhere. Don’t retweet or else follow

Some on has dumped in the swimming pool. Literally. This ones going to take a bit more than a fishing… instagram.com/p/ugCrR1PTFU/

Backstage refreshment. Wet and dry style instagram.com/p/u48xiZvTB6/

Twitter is like farting at a rock concert. Those nearest might notice but no one is bothered. Likewise, your guff means the same to you

No bums allowed instagram.com/p/wDpwyovTPm/

It's a ten from Len for this festive mannequin presentation. Next year seeking leg doners so we can… instagram.com/p/wMSX3WPTCY/

It’s not a crime to bust grime. To all you dirty baztds ask Santa for some soap and keep clean. No excuse to smell like satans rectum!

“What an interesting question” Is there such a thing as an “interesting question”? Surely it’s the answer that might be interesting?

What comes between the tree bark stays between the tree bark

Worlds biggest and newest cruise ship launched with a little help from Tom King #HarmonyOfTheSeas with Wild Boys