I’d give anything to serve a frat boy his $2 budman and then get stiffed on the tab again

I miss my chiropractor 🙃

The bar I work in opened last night and I spent a full two minutes standing over a cutting board of limes trying to remember how to cut them properly. So you could say quarantine hit me hard

I never thought at 23 I’d be in charge of finding an assisted living facility for my grandfather. Life comes at you fast

I got my dogs paw print tattooed so I showed him...he couldn’t care less. Just wanted to pant in my face

If you don’t wanna accidentally kill your favorite bartender, wear a fucking mask

My absolute best friend went to cross the rainbow bridge this morning 💔

This you? Donald J. Trump

My dog dying didn’t really hit me until I got his collar in the mail today. He’s really gone

It’s so hot I’m sweating my eyelashes off

Was thanked for being pretty tonight. Yes bitch, you’re welcome

Are you ever just chilling and then think about how many times your boss has seen you trip over nothing on security camera

#NewProfilePic

People that casually drink a glass of milk can not and should not be trusted.

The highlight of my day was finding a countertop compost bin. Is this what getting older is like?

Thinking about going into an LPN program but the anxiety I won’t get in is holding me back..