Hey! Do a backflip!

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Why do we sing “imma LITTLE teapot..” when we’re becoming the biggest teapots in the world?

How it started/How it’s going

How does an Apparition brag? 🟩⬜🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Anything is possible at zombo com

lizard lizard, double lizard, as if, what ever, get the picture? Yuh.

Today is the only day you can retweet this

Tried telling the “fingers through the yellow pages” joke, to a couple of 9 year olds the other day… And now I’m 31

God I hate nodding to a stranger on the street too early. 3 nods later and they’re still 10 feet away and I look like a bizarre puppy sniffing the wind.

What is life? Some say Bread is Life.

Love the serendipitous line up here.

Mystery duffel bag in the bushes. I’m thinking of you still. What multitudes may you contain?

Dang y’all. I don’t know if you’re into planets but the mermaid is fully in the Gatorade right now.

Today was definitely a day to consult the red fortune teller fish for me.

This makes me laugh every time I see it. Every single time. I am 34 years old.

me in the backseat when my friends are asking whats the next move when i was supposed to be home 2 hours ago

Squatty Potty?! I think you mean vomit handles ?

“Im gonna take a quick shower” *30 mins later* me:

The top pops of the Eiffel Tower and becomes a moon rolling right at you, that starts a flood but then the moon, is actually a cat. And it’s a water fight.