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6 pm - 8 pm: Grow weak and feeble

Google maps routed me through a giant subterranean crypt made by an ancient civilization to save 3 minutes

bro, mind if we talk a minute? why do your cool college friends keep pointing at me and calling me “the guy who’s going to die”

when was the last time i.showered

sleeping drunk and shirtless on a couch while still wearing jeans and a belt is the best sleep you cant get

"have you caught the latest episode of white lotus" "did you see this season of love is blind" i don't know... have you caught a glimpse of the striking yellow throated warbler in central park? did you see this season of sun-dappled spring ephemerals blooming through the canopy?

write this down. *starts coughing*

carcass is a great word. yea thats a carcass alright

little guy

There’s no TV or movies in DnD-World so for three years I’ve had to haunt fairgrounds and amphitheaters if I want to see things. they do have Shakespeare here though.

Why is it that it has to be my life that sucks the most. Why couldn’t it have been that guy (Pointing directly at you)

Basic human needs like water or jellybeans

None of my pants fit anymore because I lost all of my legs in the war

saw three female house sparrows foraging together and murmured “shawties on squad mode” and they all stopped and looked at me

I can help with that if you want

Understood. Just Checking.

I can probably get rid of them by, like, transferring them to someone else. Do you have any Enemies.

We got geese now? I wanna talk to it