I felt kind of ill yesterday and I smoked a cigarette and felt better. I’m not a doctor but I think cigarettes are good for you

Ok I think we’re doctors

As a band we have a new bit which is to hit each others cars on purpose

Constantly googling “do I have rabies” because of how much I hate drinking water

Are whippits good for asthma?

thanks for nothing traitor joe …

I’m glad the find my friends app also has the option for “me” because I keep forgetting where tf I am lately

Playing the Greek theatre tonight and I’m going to throw up and pass away

Dave Franco is giving me a stick and poke at 3am is what Phil just said because he doesn’t want to go to the Marc Jacob’s store with me

Getting hit by a city bus is recession proof

My little brother looks exactly like Alex g

Remembering the time we played with Alex G and I couldn’t watch a second of the set because I was chasing my friend around trying to prevent him from swallowing crack rocks he randomly had in his pocket

#NewProfilePic

My cup sucketh dick

Happy pride everyone

Idea for a movie night: all three reunion episodes of vanderpump rules and ghosts of abu ghraib