Really liked Hot Tub Time Machine...crazy storyline but you'll def laugh...watching a little family guy now. Just comedy 24/7

i work at mcdonalds and i give every burger a small kiss before i send it out

Dreaming of a better world 👽

This weekend I'm going to try to find out if I'm connected to the moon.

I'm pretty sure I'm connected to the moon.

The Steven Crowder divorce drama is exploding on right-wing Twitter today, where we've learned that the court record features a threatening yam sent to Crowder.

Tonight’s game has been delayed due to a bee colony forming on the protective netting behind home plate.

Here's the first look at Creed's Scott Stapp as Frank Sinatra in the new Ronald Reagan biopic stereogum.com/2278178/heres-…

Certified Cracker #CTESPN Blackinship Philadelphia Eagles

Kentucky state Sen. Johnnie Turner has died after being injured at home last month when he plunged into an empty swimming pool while aboard a lawn mower. nbcnews.com/news/us-news/k…

Some bar, somewhere, is going to feel the heat tonight…

Every Deportation is a Policy Failure I hooked up with him a few years ago he was great in bed

Interviewing Santa tomorrow

Nighttime erection data from my 19-year-old son, Talmage Johnson, and me. His duration is two minutes longer than mine. Raise children to stand tall, be firm, and be upright.

my first priority at the waterpark is always to decenter whiteness, and the second is to experience incredible thrills

It doesn't matter who Donald Trump "nominates." The next Secretary of Labor, Secretary of Education, Secretary of Treasury, and Secretary of Housing ... is Elon Musk.

Walked into the Charleston International Airport like I just “owned” the place after our press conference this morning - picked up a rental car to get to D.C. to reopen the government. We were met with OUTSTANDING support. Thank you to everyone coming forward about what’s really

I have about 4 dreams a week that I get shot in. Last night, I could actually feel the burn of the bullets as they entered my chest & heart.

BREAKING NEWS -- REPORT: JOE BIDEN WILL DROP OUT OF PRESIDENTIAL RACE -- BREAKING NEWS

Dolph is short for Dolphin. America, follow me to my underwater paradise!