My goal as a writer is to make enough money in pre-sales to hire someone wearing a mask of my face to do all public readings.

In my sci-fi WIP, a character on a spaceship says that they have been in the air for too long. A critique partner told me that there is no air in space. If you are critiquing someone's work, don't be that guy. He knew damn well what I meant.

I have been away from social media for a long time. Or a short time. I've been tearing my stories apart, and I lost all concept of time in the process. I hope that excuse works here. It didn't work with my job.

One of my pets, a guinea pig, is deathly afraid of everything. She runs away as soon as she sees a shadow. But there's one snack that she'll eat from your hands. It's like she sees it and thinks, "Yeah, I don't mind risking death to eat that."

I think I might have a problem. Just a small one.

One of my characters is so talented that she managed to sit down three times in the same scene without ever standing up in between.

I'm rewriting the first novel I ever completed. It has been a couple of years since I've looked at it. It's so bad. I've never uttered the phrase, "What the hell was I thinking?" so much in my life.

A woman just arrived for an interview at my job and brought her husband, which I found very odd. He was told to wait for her at reception. While he was at reception, he told the employees that he's worried she won't get the job because she doesn't really know how to do it. 🤦

I'm sick. Just a cold, but it's kicking my ass. I can't help but think of all the times I wasn't sick. All that time I could have run through fields and skipped on beaches, but didn't. Never again will I let those moments pass me by. It does sound like a lot of work, though.

Why are these the predictive text options for this sentence?

I'm thinking about removing the swearing from one of my stories and making it YA. That being said, it includes a dream sequence where a character is forced to eat the severed leg of his murdered wife. Is that too much for YA?

I just spent two hours editing a single paragraph. Then I deleted the paragraph. Editing is fun. 🙃

Quick writing question for Americans. What do you call this? Is it just a chain lock? Safety chain? Something else? For context, the character speaking about it was born in Baltimore, now lives in Richmond. Thanks in advance for the help.

I was itchy earlier, looked down, and saw this running along my arm. If you think I'm posting this to ruin your day and make you paranoid, you're right. My day was already ruined, so I'm taking you all down with me.

The time has come for me to become active here again. So please take no notice of the weirdo who started liking and retreating your tweets out of the blue.

Hello darkness, my old friend.

I've been writing my current manuscript in Google Docs, just so I could access it anywhere. I'm querying it today, so I copied it over to Word. I decided to proofread it one more time, and Jesus Christ, there were so many typos missed by Google Docs.

While querying my WIP, I'm editing an old story of mine, and my God, my old characters are so melodramatic. I had half a chapter of two people arguing--including wildly erratic hand gestures, of course--over a broken appliance. They both cried at the end.

As an NFL fan, I often get to see American commercials. I just saw one advertising a medication for hot flashes. One of the common side effects was hot flashes. It was the mildest side effect of the hot flash medication.

People often add scenes to their stories as an homage to other media they love. Today, I wrote a scene in my story as an homage to a scene in an earlier draft of that story that I had to cut. Is that weird?