"For real, for real gay?"

"But why did you ask if I'm you?"

"I thought you were bisexual."

"Ooh!"

"Best of both worlds."

"I don't know what I am. I mean, back in Hogwarts, I thought Remus was so cute and I wanted to pin him on the table and," he cleared his throat. "I mean..."

"Did I say that to my cousin who's Remus' friend? Yes, I did..."

Police therapy dog was busted for stealing toys from a charity bin x.com/i/events/12081…

"What?"

Don't mind him. He's off his rocker.

"Well, yeah," he shrugged. "I was always having wet sexual dreams about him while at Hogwarts.

Sees Potter and flicks him off. "Fuck off!"

He blinked when he shoved him. "Dude?"

He rolled his eyes. "Merlin's balls, Sirius. I USED to like him, but now, I'm married with a daughter!"

"Oh, yeah? Show me, then."

"Bring Remus out here to see if I have feelings for him."

Regulus Potter.

Someone's going to kill him for saying that.

"You can because it's my house."