When I'm having fun on a Sunday and it reaches 6-7 pm

Girlfriend - “You won your parlay. You can take me out to dinner now”

“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Me:

i just remembered i told someone something they can use against me

I know he’s mad asf rn

paying credit card bill using another credit card

Kobe brought his girl to the podium after what some would call an “unethical” night too

POV: How it feels returning to ur seat after giving the worst presentation known to man (the pressure is gone)

homelander endorses the deep for political office

“Your total is 19.33” “Heres 20. Keep the kirk”

When someone is laughing and socializing instead of taking their turn at the board game we are playing

Me lookin at my cousin at the family function after he say “boy u stay bringin some new shi around”

Me listening to “Redemption” be like

Her: You’re like a brother to me Me :

Global problem 😭

wife sent me to the grocery store and is suddenly unreachable

The hunger you get after losing a baddie will set you up for life