Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

excuse me, i'm gonna bloom

i hope you get a subscription offer from aarp

naked & afraid but it’s just me & this pan of brownies

remember when you were someone else

Just remembered, I bought a couple wing-nuts yesterday.

there was a cricket at work today that really didn’t give a shit

The magic isn’t through with you.

Everyone’s destined for change. I used to take ecstasy on Friday nights & relentlessly gnaw on a plastic straw wearing a big soft furry coat & sunglasses. Now I plan to paint pumpkins in my pajamas.

If I had a hammer I'd hammer the motherfuckers I'd hammer the motherfuckers and the assholes, too

day 263 of thinking that tree stump is a bear

My latest playground. #wip

Hard truths are better left for daylight.

Relax. Everybody’s winging it.

I’m the but as a person

Birth (fuck around) Death (find out)

I’m getting in