30+ gray hairs on my head but also still routinely being called "kiddo" by strangers. this is a very confusing time in my life

life hack: don't waste a bunch of money on those bird feeders with the fancy cameras, just put a basket on your bike and never use it and eventually some doofus of the bird world will come lay eggs 3 feet from your door

inviting all the transphobes who cry about "men in women's restrooms" to solve the real problem: come escort my elderly female cat from the litter box so she doesn't get ambushed by the other two cats who lie in wait like a couple of perverts

rip

the wright brothers are shaking

the fucked up truth about being a graphic designer is that sometimes letter and word shapes look bad together and there's NOTHING you can do about it

cat lesbians and dog lesbians are such a different vibe and I did not at all appreciate this until I showed up to a thing yesterday and there were like 7 dogs running around

tfw you are denied pistachios

as a child I used to HATE when my mom made us do housework on holidays but now at the ripe age of 28 I'm like "actually the fourth of july IS the perfect opportunity to deep clean the bathroom"

I always feel bad when I play a dnd character and it essentially ends up just like me but now I've watched the bear season 2 and witnessed john mulaney playing a character that is essentially just john mulaney so I feel better

got wordle in one earlier this month with the same word I had been using religiously for a year and a half; picked a new one and got it in one again today. would love to be this lucky regarding something that actually matters 😭

the most unrealistic part of the barbie movie was that ken never encountered horses until he went to the real world. where were the horse girl barbies

substack.com/@emmaoxford/p-… not sure who all is still around these parts, but thought I'd drop in and share this. if it tickles your fancy, you can find me on substack. good luck out there on the world wide web