😂

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn't smell.

Think Good Thoughts. Believe In Yourself.

Sometimes guys sit on a hard chairs balls first. Trust me, it's never a good thing

Guy kills it on a custom-built guitar made of Beer cans

The Internet is a digital drug pusher with billions of attention whores addicted to its toxic cocktail chasing a Dragon they'll never catch, but die trying.

My friends asked me if I wanted to go to brunch. Like guys, we can just day drink. We don't have to bring eggs into this.

The Twisted, Surreal Logic that lurks in the phrase, "Well, I didn't ask to be born," implies they were Forced into Life without their consent, and therefore cannot be held accountable for any of there actions.

So happy younger women hate leggings. I couldn't stand them myself.

Everybody drops it when it's hot. So it's not really very special. Because if it was cold, they're probably dead.

be the person your dog thinks you are

Fuck AI. Prefer to actually use my brain instead of another's.

To throw a Hand Fart with precision, or HandFarting, is a true fArt form.

Some of us just won't learn from ancient proverb: When you fuck with da Bull, and talk about Sex, Politics, or Religion, you're gonna get da horns.

People create their own chaos, then blame others for it. What fun.

Life is hard. Be harder.

Yep, this place has become like an old, dying mining town.

It's Vewee Vewee Gwood!

Humans are inherently Opportunistic. Which is why they cannot be completely trusted. Like, ever.