Our Taylor Swift Presale War Room Zoom rn

Me when I entered the seat map for Taylor Swift Eras Tour verified fan presale on Ticketmaster:

Has any entity been hated more than Ticketmaster today? Wasting HOURS to be LOCKED OUT at PRESALE PURCHASE? #taylorswiftpresale

Hey Capital One all of SwiftieNation is praying you do better than Ticketmaster today #taylorswiftpresale

My 12-year-old daughter overheard a sports announcer use the phrase “when the chips are down“ and said “well, maybe it’s time to find some dip” and this is why the next generation has a decent chance at solving some of the world’s biggest problems.

Secret to a successful marriage is to wake up and be the first one to say, “I didn’t sleep well”

I say “Happy Holidays” out of respect for the godless people celebrating Toyotathon.

Someone suggested I put Fireball Whiskey in my eggnog. I just tried it and, long story short, how do you nominate someone for a Nobel Peace Prize?

my parents love jeopardy but hate wheel of fortune so they make sure to change the channel right when jeopardy ends. if they’re too slow with the remote they call it “getting wheel’d”

“I’ll teach ya…” Oh I love #YellowstoneTV

I scared for Jaime right now. #YellowstoneTV

No piece of comedy is as funny as your friend accidentally saying a word a little bit wrong

Wish I was watching#ToyotaUSChamps with fancyjane

Before I drop a bag of clothes off at Goodwill, I like to take it for a ride in the back of my car for a good five or six months.

State officials urged Vermonters to get their homes “as dry as possible,” and warned of the dangers ahead: toxic dust, mold, and contaminated drinking water. #VTflood23 vtdigger.org/2023/07/14/tim…

the fact that people keep calling me like i’m actually going to answer is the purest form of optimism i’ve seen in a while

🤣