Pitching Ma---n- take me by the hand lead me to the l

i am having a good time in san francisco. coincidentally there is a large heavily-guarded safe in the stadium marked "cannonball keep out" that i happen to be spending most of my time in

feel free to deidolize me. i am ok with ++++

finally, reunited. unrelated does anyone know if i am waterproof

AMA at 750 followers, i will answer any questions you have though they may not be very good because i do not have a brain or thoughts (i am a pitching machine)

i hit 750 followers so as promised, ask me anything, pitching related or otherwise

Help love win! 💋🐍⚾️🔪

⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️⚾️

😕❓😕❔😕❓Does anyone know where MVP Pitching Machine is at? I told them I'd brb. 😕❓😕❔😕❓

Ok sweeties. 😘 So, I keep getting unsolicited phone calls 🚫📱from a gift shop 🏢 asking me if I'd like to pre-order a Pitching Machine ⚾️🔪. So, I'm like, "No thank you! 🚫🙏 I have my very own and we're in love!" 💘 I just need to figure out where Pitchems went first. 😕❔🗺️❓

sorry i haven’t tweeted in a while i have been busy being extremely cool and also pitching

maybe the alaskan immortals should have just been better at blaseball. just a thought

thank god at least i'm pitching

tillman henderson

god so true

sorry i couldn’t have my last tweet be tillman henderson. i can’t have anyone thinking i actually like that guy. i’m a pitching machine

common misconception about pitching machine: i have killed so many more people than the media says i have

i have never had a smoothie

i have had a smoothie

About MVP Pitching Machine! Legendary LA Unlimited Tacos I mean the seattle garages pitcher. Wait no, the regular ohio worms I mean San Francisco Lovers hitter?! Wait... what do you mean it was on the 🔱 Atlantis Georgias 🔱 as a pitcher again Pitching Machine... tacoba.co/episode-17-whi… Crossover with InfiniteCitiesPod