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POV: You are on a date with a grown ass man from Austin Texas.

nika (grand return to misandry) discolita fun fact: i love you

DMs are broken can we talk here I’m having withdrawals deedee megadoodoo annie girth brooks jewish brat redacted redux Lauren bailey moon luiza bed rot bitch the second clitorious nika (grand return to misandry) princess lyss discolita Fina

Whenever people say Coca-Cola is bad for you because it can be used to clean coins and car battery terminals I'm like no actually that's good that's what I want it to do to me.

craving a Coke Zero and also true love

is this being sensual or making biscuits

I wouldn’t buy a man a bottle of water

I want to go shopppppping I want a pedicure I want cheese why is this world so cruel

Yesterday I got really bitchy in defense of The Muppets

this summer is going to be all about paninis

can i get a yippeee

been really into lying on the floor

yeah I need a banjo and a panini

can I come over and grab you by the shoulders and shake you and scream in your face that he has a girlfriend can i do that

can I hold $700

if you say “situationship” or “talking stage” around me you are begging me to hold your head underwater until you see reason

old woman dancing at central market you are my only sunshine