It’s always been fuck a cop

New lease started in August and I just got an email about renewing otherwise my apartment will start being shown after September 20th🤣🤣 Love renting

Shiiit I’d prolly swim or sumn

Alfred: I’ve cleaned your Black Pussy-Pumper 5000 and lubricated it for further use, Master Wayne. But I must warn you…the ribbing is wearing low. You won’t be cumming as quickly from now on. Batman [clutching his brow]: Leave it on the desk.

Twista raps "Overnight Celebrity" while someone shoots a gun to match the song's beat.

DUI stands for Driving Under the Impression that this is a free fucking country

When she mutes herself to pee on FaceTime

Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see his shadow I’m fr bout to bust

Taking pepto before I smash this McDonald’s breakfast as a Hail Mary

Did I snap???

It’s always “How are you?” and never “Hawk Tuah!”😞