Yeah Ton', it's me. The market's crashing, just like you wanted.

I'm hopin' for a recession. Because who gives a fück.

Yeah Ton, it's me. Our friend in the big chair caved on the tariffs, just like you wanted.

Abundance? Sure kid, I got an abundance — in my pants. Heheh.

Yeah Ton', it's me. Rory missed, just like you wanted.

Yeah Ton', it's me. Our friend in the Vatican? Mossad finally got him.

Yeah, I took the cash from Kristi Noem. It was payment for services rendered — let's just say I'm the secretary of her interior. Heheh.

I might switch to hockey, T.

Yeah Ton', it's me. We got the word out, nobody's draftin' Shedeur until his old man pays his debts, like you said.

I don't give a fück about Christopher Columbus. Italians should get a day, but it don't need to be for that príck.

Yeah Ton', it's me. That gorilla? Taken care of. Tell the other 99 to go home.

I'm not gonna be no Pope if I can't bring my broads with me. Tell the cardinals to get back in there and try again.

Yeah Ton', it's me. I'll take care of it.

Mother's Day? Sure, kid — there's room in here for your mother, too.

Yeah Ton', it's me. Tatum faked the injury, just like we told him.

Yeah Ton', it's me. Let's just say the Mexican Navy won't be comin' back.

Oh, your DMs ain't workin'? Maybe go out and talk to a broad in real life for once. Prićk.

D&D? Sure, kid — I give your mother the D, and then I give your sister the D. Heheh.

Yeah Ton', it's me. Elon and the big guy are breakin' up during Pride Month, just like you wanted.

Martial law don't apply to me, T. I ain't married.