If there’s not eventually a trial called Calm A Chameleon then what’s the point in anything anymore? #ImACeleb

I put Mr Blobby into Paranormal Activity. I'm so sorry...

I can’t sleep and am utterly delirious at how fucking funny I’m finding this.

Put Joe Lycett on the £20 notes.

I woke up an hour before my alarm was due to go off today, and genuinely couldn’t get back to sleep because I started thinking of the last 20 minutes of #TheTraitors and then had too much adrenaline coursing through my veins? What the actual fuck. Damehood for Winkleman please.

If CBB was still on in January, the Wakey Wines guy would’ve gone in and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Can’t wait for Lana’s water bottle to be left in front of a mirror. #LoveIsland

I fucking HATE the football/hairdressing code innuendo every year - M’am, just tell us you got fingered it is 9:20 in the PM. #LoveIsland

At least try and make the sex chat on the terrace something different other than football/salon innuendos. Do it using The Sims 3 expansion pack names. ANYTHING. #LoveIsland

“Did you go full on Island Paradise or did you keep it strictly University Life?” “Nah, we kept it purely Showtime but the way he was looking at me, it very nearly went full on Late Night.” SEE? IT’S ALL COMPLETE BOLLOCKS! #LoveIsland

I bloody love Will but I bet he types please and thank you when he Google’s things. #LoveIsland

Hey Siri how do I become 9 to 11 years old again with minimal effort

Prick.

Can’t help but think for Laurence Fox this feels a bit like when you get to visit your future secondary school before leaving Year 6.

LMAOOOJFBF

Hey Siri, play About Damn Time. Couldn’t be happening to a nicer guy. ☺️

whilst i’m able to take responsibility for my own actions i can hand on heart say that a big part of the reason i would get myself into these states was because of the relentless bullying and constant surveillance and scrutiny this man had me under. FOR NO REASON. Anyway, karmas

It’s giveaway time! RT for a chance to win a gorgeous A3 print of your choice by the fabulous Gail Myerscough and I’ll pick a winner on Monday. Visit gailmyerscough.co.uk for more lovely goodies at affordable prices. Good luck! ♥️🖼️

BRITAIN HAS GONE WOKE! Fortunately, this new beverage will put an end to it 🥤🫧🇬🇧 #wokebritain

🚨 BREAKING: Nigel Farage has just had a pint of beer thrown in his face in Clacton